But it was hilarious.
Let's begin. I attended a Valentine's hoedown at church with my hubby a couple weeks ago. They had a western themed night complete with cow roping and range shooting. It. was. awesome. To end the night they planned a line dance for anyone that wanted to join in. They spent a few minutes going through the simple steps and invited us to come join them. I knew right away it wasn't a good idea for me. I had a very full bladder and quite frankly I am a horrible dancer, I repeat...h.o.r.r.i.b.l.e. Coordination? None. Smooth moves? Heck no. So I decided to enjoy laughing
And then this happened....
"You HAVE to come dance with me! My husband won't. Come on, let's go!" Says a sweet friend who has no idea the predicament I'm in.
She pulls me onto the dance floor before I could object and thus begin's 'the event' of said pants peeing. We were laughing so hard and having a great time making fools of ourselves (although really she was adorable. I was the one sporting the fool-ness). I distinctly remember saying to her several times..."I have to go to the bathroom really bad. This is not good." After thoroughly enjoying the dance steps which involved jumping and hoping around for several minutes I could not hold it any longer and I quickly hobbled out of the room with my legs half-crossed laughing so hard I could barely breathe. Side note: Running+laughing is also a bad combo for someone with a full bladder and very little control over it.
I ran to the bathroom. Let's leave it at that.
5 minutes later...
I snuck back into my chair next to my husband just in time to hear the fairwell song and I quickly whispered that he would need to go get my coat (which is knee length, thank God!) and bring it back to me. I tried to seem casual as the only one still sitting while I awkwardly put my coat on from a semi-crouching position and tried to make a quick getaway. We stepped outside the church doors and my husband asks, "why did you run out laughing during the dance?"...Oh honey, let me just tell you. I could hardly breathe I was laughing so hard confessing the recent event and whining about my pants that were now very wet and uncomfortable. He laughed. Really hard. He loves me but what man wouldn't laugh at his grown wife who just confessed she peed her pants on their date. Seriously. Outrageous.
I should follow this with reminding you that I have given birth to three babes in the past 3 years. Any mom can attest to this, my body is just not the same after that. From now I will probably wear depends when dancing. In recent weeks I have shared my experience with a few people and it's quite funny to hear their stories of similar events. I love them for sharing with me! I should add that family and friends were one thing however, I sat across a dinner table from a well respected speaker and author, Dee Brestin, and told her this story. No joke. What in the world?!! All I can say is that I hope she doesn't remember me for peeing my pants. I told my friend who was sitting with me at the table, who also shared a peeing her pants story with Dee, that we should keep our eyes open for a story about us in one of Dee's books. It would probably be under a chapter titled, "When women embarrass themselves: Should some stories be kept untold?"
I digress.
On to why I'm sharing this .
#1) IT WAS LIBERATING. Not the peeing part, that felt gross. The dancing part. Like I said, I am a horrible dancer and I have been terrified of dancing in front of people for as long as I can remember. However, recently in my life I have enjoyed dancing more (mostly at home with my toddlers where no one can see me) and have felt a smidge bit less pressure to look cool dancing. To get out on that floor and dance in front of all those people was so freeing. I probably looked a fool but I was having so. much. fun. It was worth every minute. Seriously.
#2) Sometimes we need to tell our peed pants stories so we can laugh at ourselves. In case you didn't know, I tend to lean towards the more serious side most days. I like thinking deep and talking about rich, edifying topics (unlike this one). But sometimes you just gotta tell it like it is. This whole event will likely be one of the funniest of my adult life-sure to make good stories for my grandkids. Therefore, I feel compelled to document it and share in the name of keepin' it real.
#3) I'm tempted to make a spiritual application here but let's just leave it at this....life as a Christian is anything but boring. No doubt. Lest you be tempted to think otherwise!
So there you have it. I totally peed my pants on a date.
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