How to Champion One Another in a Comparison Crazed World

In a world where we're told that comparison is of utmost importance in order to thrive, how do we flourish? Is it possible? Can we honestly say we are surrounded by people who speak life into us in a way that moves us to pursue the life we were made for. One full of purpose and beauty and big things and little things and real, good, honest, meaningful life. I'm not sure I can.
 
I'm going to be gut wrenchingly honest and admit that lately I have been wrestling with this idea that there is only enough room for a certain amount of greatness in our world. This thinking that we don't need more speakers or writers or evangelists or____(you fill in the blank) has plagued me. It's quite frankly a lie from the pits of hell because I know without a doubt that God has made each of us for greatness. Not one of us is without great purpose and not one of us is 'just a number' to fill in the space of time we exist in. Our world is hurting and broken and God wants us to bring life into it. So there Satan, you are found out. Your nasty, low-life lie is exposed. And I will not be a victim of that thinking. Not anymore. Not under the authority of Jesus and the truth that we are made for more.

So that's that.
 
But I don't think I'm the only one that has been fed that lie. I think society is pretty well living that out.
 
I could get political here or start talking about social injustice and the other things that are behind thinking such as this, but I'm going to address the body of Christ and challenge our thinking because that is what God is doing in me right now.
 

Where does comparison come from? This I am wrestling with. It's clear to me that there are probably millions of roots that bear the fruit of comparison but since I am not an expert in uncovering all of the worlds problem (hah!) then I'm going to speak out loud what I know is true.
Here it is...Comparison of each other is never rooted in Jesus.
 
In observing other women and searching out myself I'm convinced that the most common root of comparison comes from insecurity. In Beth Moore's book So long insecurity, you've been a bad friend to us, she writes about each of us having a prominent false positive. Here is how she describes it...
 
"Most of us have what I'll call a prominent false positive: one thing that we think would make us more secure in all things. You want to know how you can pinpoint your own prominent false positive? The thing you tend to associate most with security?" She goes on to use some of the following examples.
 
..."you're married to the most fabulous man in the world."
Prominent false positive: A great man would make me secure
 
..."look at this house! Girl, you never have to worry about money."
Prominent false positive: Financial success would make me secure.
 
...you've got the best personality of anybody I know. Everybody likes you."
Prominent false positive: Popularity would make me secure.
 
...you're gorgeous! I'd give anything to see that in the mirror!"
Prominent false positive: Beauty would make me secure.
 
I hope you get the idea and maybe even identify your own prominent false positive. I've often used this concept to help identify when I am feeling insecure-also known as feeling 'threatened' by another person (usually a woman). It's the symptom of a deeper problem. Insecurity=comparison. Comparison=insecurity. Although I know without a doubt that men struggle with comparison as well, I am a women so I am going to speak to women when saying that we drowned in this and waste a lot of our time (knowingly or unknowingly) comparing ourselves with other women. This is one area that can easily choke the life out of the church, our relationships and ministry (as well as just about every other area of our life!). It simply sucks the joy and life-giving power out of areas of our life that we need encouragement the most. The word that God has given me to combat this thinking is Champion.
 
Champion is defined in a few ways, here are a couple I like:
 
1. a person who fights or argues for a cause or on behalf of someone else.
2. support the cause of; defend
 
Even some of the synonyms are powerful:
advocate, proponent, promoter, supporter, defender, backer
 
God is showing me the absolute need and power of choosing to champion the women in my life. I've had conversations recently with women who's eyes literally light up when I chose to verbally uplift them and affirm their gifts. I've also noticed that the more secure I am, the more secure women appear around me. It's like it opens up the door of permission to just be who we are. By killing comparison in our own lives, the wall of comparison begins to tumble down around us allowing other women to live more freely too. It's quite amazing really. Seeing that fuels me all the more to champion women in the calling God has on their life. Not feel bad when mine doesn't seem to stack up to being as popular or cool or desirable.

In light of leadership and looking at the ways in which we champion one another, I love this quote by Christine Caine, "If you have to squash the potential of another person in order to keep them "under you" then you have missed the point of leadership. Our role as leaders is to help each person to flourish & fulfill their purpose. They need to grow into Him not stay "under us"." If we are so focused on comparing and making sure that we stack up then we are missing the whole point.

Philippians 2  talks about humility. The thing is that even Christ Jesus did not consider equality with God to be used to his own advantage. He humbled himself. He served us. He died for us. He champions us. He tells us not to do anything out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility we are to value others above ourselves. IT'S RIGHT THERE. We are to pay careful attention NOT to compare ourselves because we shouldn't be trying to stack ourselves up against one another and be 'better' than the person looking at us. We should be considering other people better than us at all times. Not because we are 'less'. The Bible doesn't tell us to think about ourselves first because we don't need reminding of that. We are self-centered by nature. The Bible reminds us to think of others first so that we may have our focus off of ourselves and then we can build the body of Christ and join together to be light in the dark world.

Now I ask you, have you been comparing or champion the people around you? Are you willing to acknowledge your prominent false positive and resolve to move past that point so that you are able to champion others?

If you'd be so bold, would you share with me your prominent false positive in the comments below. If you are comfortable and ready to release that, let's use the comment section as an alter to lay it before our God and release it fully to Him.

 

Holy Father God, we no longer want to hold onto what is holding your body back. We don't want to focus on comparing ourselves to other people in order to build ourselves up or feed this roaring lion inside of us that rages to be more important than everyone else. I claim that you have uniquely made us for an invaluable, eternal purpose and there is nothing that can steal that from us. There is no fear when living in you. You have the hairs on our head numbered. Let us remember that you also have the hairs numbered on each person around us. Help us to champion other people so that we are building and not tearing down your world. Thank you for loving us enough to reveal what our prominent false positive is and taking it from us so that we are no longer bound by it's false power.

In the powerful Holy name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

Obsessing Over Obsession

I've been thinking about obsession. Have you ever noticed how we live in a world of never being able to have a small amount of something? We need it to be the biggest and the best and consume us-even if just for a day or two. It seems that we can't allow something new into our world without it taking over and effecting every part of us.
 
Trend is defined as "The general direction in which something tends to move". To me that sounds gradual, like a steady climb. However in our culture 'trends' can literally be from day to day. For example, I recently joined thousands of women for a Christian conference and the whole weekend I heard, "We're trending today!" Today? Yes. Just today. But that was a big deal. To be the #1 trend on Facebook and Twitter for the day was kind of exciting. Honestly, I felt proud to be a part of what was popular and trending for the day. I'm pretty sure a whole lot of other people felt that way too. But what happens when that day is over? When the hype is gone and the next big thing trends?
 

 
I try to watch the Today show when I have time. Recently they started doing a segment on what is trending. It's almost never something that lasts long and it's centered around what was trending that day or the day before. Literally. Like ONE day. So this 'thing' is a big deal for like a day. No joke.
 
Let's consider the definition of obsession. Although there are likely a lot of definitions out there I found this one and really liked it. It makes sense to me. "A compulsive, often unreasonable idea or emotion." So here's the cycle I see. We obsess over something. Let's use the example of the latest youtube video that is hilarious and captivating and was meant to be viewed by family only to find out that within 12 hours it received over 1 million views from people around the world. As we like to say-the video had gone viral. So now we are all watching this video. Obsessing over it. Sharing it on every social media site that we are connected to. Emailing it, texting it, making sure all of our family and friends have seen it. At least the ones we know that have our weird sense of humor and will laugh until their stomach hurts.
 
Then we realize that we just wasted 3 hours that day viewing this movie and sending it to people. Not only that but we also wasted an additional hour trying to figure out where we can buy the cute outfit the chick was sporting in the video. Wholly obsession. Now we spend at least that much time feeling completely guilty about how we have wasted time. We could have been playing with our kids, having coffee with a friend, reading our Bible, getting work done, doing laundry, shoveling snow and on and on. We then tell ourselves we have a problem and we should stop viewing youtube videos and delete our Facebook account and only text our mom for the next month until we are healed and healthy and of sound mind. Until the next morning when we come to our senses and realize that unplugging from the world will not fix our problem of not knowing when to sign off the internet. Then we hop back on the net and get bombarded with what's new and trending for that day.
 

The cycle begins...
 
Obsess over what's trending.
Obsess over our obsession of what's trending.
Move onto a new obsession to get rid of our old obsession.
 
It's not working you guys. We as Christians have got to come together and start attacking this for ourselves and for the next generation. How do we stop this cycle? How do we begin to put the internet in it's rightful place? To put trends on the shelf where they belong and create a new culture where real life is what's beautiful and the internet is useful and lovely without crowding in on what is sacred. Our lives are meant to be lived fully and fearlessly and in community with people-not with our screens.
 
I love the internet. I am so grateful we have access to just about anything at our fingertips. It makes ministry, research, connecting with people, shopping, education and so many other things more convenient, available and useful in ways we didn't have before. But as with most good advances forward come issues of self disciple and abuse.
 
I don't have an answer for this. I don't know if anybody really does. But what I have a is plea. I'm asking us to consider the cost of not addressing where our culture is at and will continue to head if we do not hold more tightly to the real life God has called us to and hold more loosely to obsession over what is trending.
 
The internet is stealing so much from us.
 
Charles Spurgeon says this...“If Christ is not all to you He is nothing to you. He will never go into partnership as a part Saviour of men. If He be something He must be everything, and if He be not everything He is nothing to you.” Maybe our message needs to change. Maybe what we, believers, are doing and saying and modeling on the internet needs to change. Is Christ everything to us? Are we more concerned about opening our Facebook app to see what's trending right when we wake up or are we opening our Bibles to see what's timeless and life-giving. Are we so concerned about taking a cute selfie that we are blind to the person on the other end of the screen viewing that photo that just needs to hear they are loved by their Creator. Are we posting jokes about sex when we should be offering encouragement to the man or women struggling with a porn addiction. Are we poking fun at Wal-Mart shoppers when we should be encouraging each other to go to our local Wal-Mart and pay for the groceries of those people who are in need-the ones that are often in the photos.
 
What are you using the internet for? What are you obsessing over while your kids cry and your husband needs prayer and your friend needs a hug. Don't get me wrong. Let's have fun too. I'm all about that. But let's consider where things lie right now. Let's get real about the problem we are facing-the elephant in our culture.
  

 
I am speaking this to myself more than anyone else. I spend too much time in places I don't belong. I obsess then feel guilty then replace it with a new obsession. You know what moves me when I consider all of this? It's this question..."Do I want my children and my grandchildren to live the way I am living? Do I want them to be a part of culture obsessed with obsession? Do I want them to ignore what matters to waste time on what is hurtful and sinful and empty?"
 
Jesus tells us to pick up our cross and follow Him. To die daily to ourselves. To consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Jesus. This is my desire. That I would get out of bed each day and model a life of self-discipline and obsess over the Word of God and obsess over prayer and obsess over a life filled with Jesus Christ. I want my kids to live in a church culture where we connect more about Jesus then about the trending videos and hair styles and clothing. I want them to obsess over Jesus. More than anything. But I know that it begins with me and my husband and the culture of our home. It begins with you and I choosing to change this for the generations to come.
 
There's a new song by Jason Gray called 'With Every Act of Love' (listen here). In the song he says God put a million billion doors for His love to walk through, one of those doors is you.
 
Let's not forget that those doors Jason is singing about are you and me. Let's change the trend you guys. Let's make Jesus the trend. Let's make the church the trend. And while we're at it, let's make this trend one that last for generations. Not one day. Not one year. But generations.

 
 

Walking on Water

This weekend I did something new and scary and bold and exciting. I walked on water. At least that's how it felt. It was quite surreal.

Have you heard the song Oceans by Hillsong United? It's amazing. You can listen to it here but let me just share some lyrics with you...

Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Savior

Yesterday I stood on a stage at a women's conference and with a vulnerable mouth-full of words and the leading of the Holy Spirit I shared with a room full of women my deepest, darkest season of life. I bared my soul to strangers and allowed them to hear of a time in my life when I chose to walk in the darkest places of sin. I invited them to hear my 'junk'. I exposed myself and laid bare all that I am in a way I haven't before...to women I didn't even know.

I felt like I was walking on water. Just like Peter in Matthew 14. I was walking on water with Jesus and I knew that all I needed to do was have faith.

And you know what? It wasn't scary. I thought it would be. I thought my knees would be shaking. I thought I'd stutter and fall apart. In my mind I imagined the possibility of being tongue-tied, too afraid of being that raw and real to the point that I would fearfully run off stage. But I didn't feel any of that.

My prayer was that I would get up there and people would see and hear from Jesus. I just wanted people to see HIM. Not that I am Him but that they would hear of the nasty choices I made and the way God made new was destroyed by my sin and it would cause them to know Jesus deeper.

I also prayed that when I got on stage HE would be the ground underneath me and I would have no nervousness, no shaking, no fear.

And I didn't.

I cannot believe how comfortable I was on that stage. I cannot believe how God empowered me to be brave in a brand new way. It was like I was in a freefall and I didn't even care if I hit the mountainside or the bottom of the canyon, all I could do was speak the words God had put in my soul. He was with me.

My favorite part was that after I spoke I had the honor of connecting with women who were encouraged by how God spoke to them through me. I got to hear stories of women who had been through a similar experience. I got to pray with a 14 year old girl (the only child I saw at the conference) who needed hope that she could truly be loved by God despite the hurt in her life. I was hugged so many times I can't even count. And you know what? I was the blessed one. I was blessed by these sweet women who bared their beautiful souls to me.

God asks us to step out on the water. We don't have to know what it's going to look like, He just asks us to believe. There will likely be times that He tells us to take a step and trust that there will be a stone beneath our foot but we don't see a stone. And we panic. But if we take that step forward we realize that in the very last second He puts a stone right beneath our foot. And we start to take the second step and again another stone is put beneath our foot. We can even run hard and fast towards Him and under each fast-paced step He will place a stone there so that WE WILL NOT SINK in the water.

If He is asking you to be brave, if He is asking you to step out and do something scary, I urge you consider the cost of not being brave. I urge you to consider the cost of not trusting the one and only God who can safely place stones beneath your feet.

If He is asking you to step outside your comfort zone I pray that you would see a new definition of comfort zone as this....your comfort zone is where the Comforter is.

Walking on water is freedom. I am in awe that I got to walk on water and I am hungry for more. I pray that I will choose a freefall any day over standing on my own false solid ground.

Why "move with him"? The story behind the blog...

I basically started this blog with my first post confessing that I didn't know what I was going to write about, why this blog existed or why you should read what I write. Not exactly enticing, eh? I doubt that will make the list of the top ten ways to start a thriving blog or attract readers or get your 'name' out there. If it does, run hard and fast from that advice and do NOT pay someone to tell you that. Unless you don't care if anyone reads your blog. Then by all means feel free to adopt my method of no direction and scary unclearness and flighty blog beginnings. After all, confusing can be cool, I think?

I honestly didn't know until this morning why I named my blog 'move with him'. I confess, once again, my lack of clear direction. It just hit me today-God let me see a little more of His plan unfolding.

A few months ago I was driving home from a coffee shop when God pretty much shook my whole heart and said, "start a blog". My response?... "Ugh, why are you still putting this on my heart. God you don't understand. I don't have time or talent for that. When in the world would I be able to write and what in the world would I write about that people actually want to read? Seriously God. You don't even know who you are talking to." In hind-sight I realize how incredibly ridiculous it is to say those things to the God who made me, knows me intimately and sees me-including every thought. But my insecurities no nothing of being rational so I completely, immaturely told God He doesn't even know. It's nothing short of a miracle that He continues to pursue me and love me despite my rebellious, ridiculous antics. I guess that's why He is God and I am not.

So my conversation with Him continued..."Fine. What would I name this so-called blog?"... "I AM"... "I AM?" I didn't hear an audible voice, it's more a speaking straight to my spirit kind of voice. One that cannot be mistaken. He told me over and over and over on my car drive home, "I AM". I didn't get it but I liked it. I went home and did a search online to see if I could buy the domain name I am. Nope. It was taken. So now I was back to square one-frustrated, tired and confused. I opened a word doc and decide to start typing to see if my thoughts made any sense. I typed like a mad woman for like 2 minutes and didn't stop to read any of it until I got to the end. I felt like my fingers had been taken over and I typed faster and harder then I ever had. I swear God high jacked my hands. Here is what I wrote (No editing done)...

"I.AM
 
Imagine A Movement explodes where we, society, are FOR GOD. Where questions are answered, where passion for God is unbridled. Where He is held high in the place He belongs-the place He exists. And all the while we are exposed to one another. We are honest about our journey. We create community in which we search out the Bible and wrestle through our questions by solely depending on Christ-together.

SO, what does that look like? What does that mean? Well, that’s what I’m about. I am messy. Roughly forging ahead in Faith. Being fine-tuned by the Creator of this massive, intriguing universe. This blog exists to give you access to my life. To allow you to see what living out faith REALLY looks like. Not perfect. Not seamless. But REAL. Authentic. Raw. THAT, my beloved readers, is who I am. I love to write. I love God. I love encouragement. SO, here I am.

I am for YOU. I am FOR GOD. I AM FOR “I AM”. "

Do you see it? I AM. Imagine A Movement. I cannot even describe to you how overtaken I was after I had written that little blurb and looked back to read it. I don't even fully know what it means but what I do know is that God is working. He called me to this blog and He will do what HE wants with it. He will work through me using words and sharing real life with you. I can't promise pretty. In fact, I can pretty much guarantee a lot of miss congeniality moments of tripping on my heals and falling flat on my butt but that's what real life, real community, is all about.

 

I believe this blog will be a space for you to feel safe to be transparent with who you are and real with where you are at. Through me typing God-inspired words I believe He will speak to you.

So why move with Him? I think it's because I've spent most of my life moving against Him.

He says, "Go". I say, "But what will people think?"

He says, "Rest." I say, "But I want to run hard and fast."

He says, "Believe I love you and live in my grace for you." I say, "But I'm not worthy."

I'm starting to understand a little more what moving with God looks like.

He says, "Go!" I say, "I'm scared to death-please hold my hand and I'll go where you lead".

He says, "Rest." I say, "I'm going to choose to rest in you even though I don't know how. You carve the most beautiful things out of seasons of rest and stillness-I trust you."

He says, "Believe I love you and live in my grace for you." I say, "I'm too critical, change my heart and help me see myself and your people the way you do. Thank you for the cross. I'm clinging to it daily."

Whether in silence or big dream chasing He is asking us to move with Him. To bend and flex and trust that He will lead our steps. Just as any dancer knows, we are to relax and not over think our steps. Instead we are to train hard then trust our movement when we are on stage and if we fall on our butts we get up and keep moving. God is a God of movement. Even in the stillness, even in seasons of waiting and silence He is still moving.

Praying I don't fall on my butt too hard, too often. But when I do, I'll be honest about it. Because on the backside of that will be the God of all creation catching me and wiping the dirt off my clothes.

Chels

God hangs out at Target

Target is my safe place. I know that on any given day I can go there with my tribe, which consists of a three year old, a two year old and a nine month old baby, and not look a fool to at least half the people in the store. It's likely that I will have to deal with approximately 2 tantrums, 1 toddler meltdown, 2 potty breaks and 10 things being pulled off the shelf. And I don't care. Usually. Because the other half of the people in the store are moms or dads who are dealing with or have dealt with the same exact craziness that I am. As the saying goes, I'm in good company.

Like most moms of littles, I try to plan my trips around mealtime and naptime but there are days when you just gotta go when you gotta go. Such was the case a few days ago. I had some errands to run in the morning which meant we would be near a Target and there were a few things I had to pick up that couldn't wait. So I braved it-at lunchtime, which is also naptime. So yeah, it was interesting. My crazy sweet kids did pretty well, considering. Even still I found myself doing the familiar dance of trying to catch my three year old who was dashing towards the nearest Disney princess toy display while scooping up my tantrum-throwing two year old off the floor and pushing the cart which was holding my screaming baby. That's all. No big deal (sarcasm).

Thankfully, this particular day God filled me with a sense of peace and patience that I don't always have. It was simply a gift from Him that in the midst of a stressful, chaotic moment I was able to be calm, patient and loving to my little ones.
 
It was still nuts though. And apparently others noticed.
 
Twice throughout the store people stopped to help me. Both times something had dropped or been thrown out of the cart and they were kind enough to pick the stuff up and jog to catch me and return the item. These small acts of kindness don't seem like much but to an overwhelmed, sleep deprived mom it was a huge help. I was grateful and would have been beyond thankful with just that.
 
But it get's better...
 
Nothing short of a miracle, I survived the checkout lane with only one unwanted purchase snuck onto the counter (thank you Charlotte, I'm sure we'll enjoy our lovely new LED flashlight). I grabbed some napkins and headed for the food court seating area right next to Starbucks. Just as I was starting to give my girls their lunch, I heard a soft women's voice saying, " I know this is weird but can I buy your coffee? What would you like?" Wow. Really? God you are amazing. This woman walked away and stood in line to buy me a hot drink. She didn't get anything for herself. Just me. When she came back smiling and handing me a cup of hot chai tea she commented that she understood where I was at because she was about 13 years ahead of me. She told me I was doing a great job. I was teary eyed and thanked her for blessing my day that way. All I could do when she walked away was praise God for the way He shows up when we least expect it and in the most unexpected ways. I felt like He was gifting me with the reminder of how He is present in the midst of a crazy moment-a crazy life-and that He loves us and sees us and knows us. He desires to bless us. I didn't deserve that sweet woman to buy my coffee but God's grace, His love, it knows nothing of what we deserve. Wrapping us in his endless mercy is just who he is.
 
It seems small but the best way I can describe it is to say that I felt like God was taking care of me, picking up the pieces. Showing me once again that when things are hard, and there are a lot of hard things right now, He is holding it together. I don't have to. Even on my best day, I can't. It's all in His hands. Even at Target.
 
I love that the God of the universe hangs out at Target. I love that He doesn't choose certain parts of our lives to be present for but ignore the other parts. He is with us always. When we're getting coffee, when we're in our cars, when we're at the DMV, when we're at the hospital, when we're alone at home, when we're running, when we're hiding, he is always there. Waiting to hang out, to talk to us, to bless us, to love on us.
 
God comes to Target with us. I just love that. I just love how present He is.
 
Be blessed today by the God of Target.
 
Chels