Walking on Water

This weekend I did something new and scary and bold and exciting. I walked on water. At least that's how it felt. It was quite surreal.

Have you heard the song Oceans by Hillsong United? It's amazing. You can listen to it here but let me just share some lyrics with you...

Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Savior

Yesterday I stood on a stage at a women's conference and with a vulnerable mouth-full of words and the leading of the Holy Spirit I shared with a room full of women my deepest, darkest season of life. I bared my soul to strangers and allowed them to hear of a time in my life when I chose to walk in the darkest places of sin. I invited them to hear my 'junk'. I exposed myself and laid bare all that I am in a way I haven't before...to women I didn't even know.

I felt like I was walking on water. Just like Peter in Matthew 14. I was walking on water with Jesus and I knew that all I needed to do was have faith.

And you know what? It wasn't scary. I thought it would be. I thought my knees would be shaking. I thought I'd stutter and fall apart. In my mind I imagined the possibility of being tongue-tied, too afraid of being that raw and real to the point that I would fearfully run off stage. But I didn't feel any of that.

My prayer was that I would get up there and people would see and hear from Jesus. I just wanted people to see HIM. Not that I am Him but that they would hear of the nasty choices I made and the way God made new was destroyed by my sin and it would cause them to know Jesus deeper.

I also prayed that when I got on stage HE would be the ground underneath me and I would have no nervousness, no shaking, no fear.

And I didn't.

I cannot believe how comfortable I was on that stage. I cannot believe how God empowered me to be brave in a brand new way. It was like I was in a freefall and I didn't even care if I hit the mountainside or the bottom of the canyon, all I could do was speak the words God had put in my soul. He was with me.

My favorite part was that after I spoke I had the honor of connecting with women who were encouraged by how God spoke to them through me. I got to hear stories of women who had been through a similar experience. I got to pray with a 14 year old girl (the only child I saw at the conference) who needed hope that she could truly be loved by God despite the hurt in her life. I was hugged so many times I can't even count. And you know what? I was the blessed one. I was blessed by these sweet women who bared their beautiful souls to me.

God asks us to step out on the water. We don't have to know what it's going to look like, He just asks us to believe. There will likely be times that He tells us to take a step and trust that there will be a stone beneath our foot but we don't see a stone. And we panic. But if we take that step forward we realize that in the very last second He puts a stone right beneath our foot. And we start to take the second step and again another stone is put beneath our foot. We can even run hard and fast towards Him and under each fast-paced step He will place a stone there so that WE WILL NOT SINK in the water.

If He is asking you to be brave, if He is asking you to step out and do something scary, I urge you consider the cost of not being brave. I urge you to consider the cost of not trusting the one and only God who can safely place stones beneath your feet.

If He is asking you to step outside your comfort zone I pray that you would see a new definition of comfort zone as this....your comfort zone is where the Comforter is.

Walking on water is freedom. I am in awe that I got to walk on water and I am hungry for more. I pray that I will choose a freefall any day over standing on my own false solid ground.