Permission to not stay where you are: A word to moms

I've noticed something in recent months. There is a trend, especially in the mama-blog sphere, of people writing to send the message love just where you are as a mom. While I often love the message this sends, I'm concerned that we aren't offering an equal message of hope to the other side of it all.

Hear me out.

I am an advocate for being just where you are and not spending our precious, short days beating ourselves up over every lost temper, lack of patience, lack of discernment, poor disciple habits and any other insecurity, fear and worry that plague moms today. I preach the same message over and over. Be where you are. Come as you are. Receive God's grace fully just.as.you.are. That's a truthful, life-giving perspective to have and one that we need to remind each other of-daily.

But what happens when that starts to give us permission to not grow and mature and change as a mom?

Imagine you're having a failure of a day with your kids and you have screwed up for the thousandth time-and it's only noon. You are tired, weary, beaten down and just plain guilt-ridden. You likely need to hear the message of God's grace. That He has given you your children despite your downfalls and that you are enough. HE is enough. But what if you are going about your day and you feel that small, still voice prompting you to fight hard. To pursue growth as a mom. To not settle for mediocre and 'just surviving'. To press into the mom God wills you to be. The mom that holds tightly to the grace of God while holding tightly to the power of change through God.

How much more empowered would we be if we didn't make excuses for our anger saying it's 'just where we're at' but instead we pray minute by minute when our pulse rises claiming that we are filled with the fruit of the spirit (Ephesians 5:22-23) and we just need to call on it. What if the conviction we sense about spending more time in the Word isn't brushed off because we are "tired" (and believe me, I am a tired mom right alongside you). Can you even dream with me for a moment how different our days would look if we married disciple and implemented that in our lives with such fierceness that we change just by adopting that one thing alone.

 

Consider how different our friendships with other moms could look if we challenged and inspired one another to keep pressing forward in growth just as much as we preach grace. I'm coming to see how we need both. Not from a spirit of condemnation but from a spirit of love and desire to be more like Jesus. A desire to not settle in the dust and sink in self-acceptance which the world so readily preaches to us. Instead, desiring to press into the potential of the mom we can be if we look beyond the fog of exhaustion and challenges of toddler fits and burden of every meal and defeat of 'just getting through the day'.



I DO NOT WANT YOU TO FEEL GUILTY. Please hear my heart on this one. I'm not writing to tell  you that you aren't good enough. You are. God says you are loved and cherished. And when our children are young there will be plenty of days and weeks where we are 'just getting through the day' and it is enough. But let's resolve not to let those days turn into years and swallow up the precious years we have with our children. It's easy to look back when they're grown and wish we'd put one more ounce of energy into pursuing God deeper in our role of motherhood. I don't want to do that. I want to look back and say that I messed up a lot, had some seasons of 'just surviving' but that I didn't give up on pursuing to be more. I didn't quietly sink into a habit of being lazy in my pursuit of growth. Instead I pressed on always seeking God for how I could grow and love my children more fully like Jesus.

Isn't that what this life is really about? Being more like Jesus. Living in such a way that we look different to other people. We don't have to settle into the 'every mom struggles with this so I'll commune with them on it' mentality. Let's be set apart. Let's be honest, transparent and genuine while doing it but let's be a light in motherhood.

I believe we need to be a generation of moms, of women, who choose possible over comfortable.

I believe we need to be okay with the laundry piling up but not be okay with an idol heart.

Loving you right where you are equally as where you will be,

Chelsia



Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me.

2 Corinthians 12:9 (NLT)