Have you ever experienced a time when you know God is calling you to walk out your faith with an act of love, but in your mind, and on paper, it didn't seem logical? I've heard all sorts of crazy stories of people giving their homes away and paying off mortgages for other people and gifting thousands of dollars to strangers in need.
But that's other people's story, right?
Or is it...
Recently I was called to be courageous and I have to be honest, I didn't feel courageous at all. In fact, I downright wrestled with it, even to the last second. Through God-orchestrated events, I landed at a local Wal-Mart to pick up a few things. It's hard to explain but trust me when I say it was kind of odd that I was there in the first place. And then, the fact that I perused the store the way I did, was also something confusing. But when I was headed to the checkout lane, I started to see a glimpse of why. I passed by a woman with a half-cart full of groceries. It was clear that this was probably a hard shopping trip for her. I offered up a quick prayer for her as I often do, and then turned into the checkout lane to be on my way.
But, while standing there, loading my whole 3 items onto the table, my spirit was shaken with this thought, "Pay for her groceries".
I have thought many times how I wished I was in a financial position to spontaneously pay for other's groceries, gas and other such things. But I've rarely felt like God was actually asking me to. Typically I just pray that God would show me how to bless others even if it's not financial.
This time was different. I knew it was the voice of God calling me to love this woman, his precious daughter, by acting in a small way so that He could take it and do big things in her life. Even though I was sure it was Him I wasn't convinced that I should go outside our budget and offer the money to her. I know that sounds selfish, because it is. But I want to be honest with you because doing what God asks of us does not always stir an automatic right response. So I offered up this prayer, "God, I don't see how I really can afford to do this but if it's you asking me to do this, I will. All I have is yours. Do what you want through my life and bank account to bring glory to yourself and bring your Kingdom here-even to Wal-Mart. But God, I honestly need to just know for sure that it's you. God of grace, please confirm for me that this is your voice."
And He did. I overhead a conversation between the woman and her boyfriend that was without a doubt confirmation that I was hearing God correctly. Because the thing is, we serve a God who knows us. He knew in my heart I wanted to obey him but he also knew that I wrestled with my own fears and worries. He came to me, met me in my lack of faith and confirmed, that yes he was asking me to take a step of faith so that He could do a work of love right there, in Wal-Mart.
With shaking hands and a trembling soul, I proceeded to pay for my things and in faith, I took out the amount of cash I believe he led me to. Just $80. Whether that seems like much to you or not, it felt like a lot to me at the time and in truth, for a split second I was tempted to choose a lesser, more comfortable amount. But God has been teaching me that he doesn't want us to cheapen his work by giving less than he asks of us. He is God and will work in whatever ways he wants, when he wants, but he asks us to walk blindly by faith and when we do, he is able to work in completeness through us. I didn't want to cheapen what he wanted to do. But I was tempted.
And isn't that the thing. We often say, "yes God", I will obey you....as long as it doesn't inconvenience me too much or take me out of my comfort zone. We pray these bold prayers of "use me" but then when he responds with "okay, NOW!" , we shrink back and add a few "but ......" In Jeremiah chapter 1 we read of the call of Jeremiah. God says to Jeremiah, "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations." So here's the God of the entire universe telling Jeremiah that he has made him for a specific purpose and how does Jeremiah respond? Not with courage or excitement or a great sense of worth. Instead we read in verse 6, "Alas, Sovereign LORD, I do not know how to speak; I am too young." Jeremiah completely acknowledges God as sovereign but he still responds with a "but..."
I feel like I get it. I get Jeremiah's hesitation. I am so thankful that we get to open the Bible and read of real people like Jeremiah who have doubts and fears and insecurities. God was calling him to something that felt really big, something that was really big but instead of God throwing Jeremiah aside when he responded with doubt, God reassured him.
Much like he reassured me of the small task he had for me at Wal-Mart. He wasn't asking me to approach a city and speak bold prophecy but he still understood my heart enough to know that in that moment, what he was asking of me, felt big to me.
I will never forget the look on that woman's face. And although my eyes were locked with the woman as I handed her the money, I imagine the people around us were blessed also. When we obey God, big or small, he takes it and multiplies it. As Jake reminded me after I shared this story, God's work is always a ripple effect. We can never understand the full reach that takes place when we walk in love and obedience.God's reach is far beyond anything we can comprehend. If he wills, one small act can change countless lives.
I don't share this story to glorify myself in any way. In fact, I hope you feel the honesty of my struggle. More than anything, I hope that through this example, you are encouraged that all acts of love and obedience are worth it. We serve a God who takes our small offering and makes them reach multitudes. Just as he took the boys 5 loaves of bread and 2 fish (Luke chapter 9) and multiplied it to feed thousands, he will take our offerings, our lives, and use them to do the work he has called us to. It's not for us to determine whether we are enough or have enough, we are just called to offer what we have.
While I was writing this, my little 4-year old Charlotte came bouncing in the room singing, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him and he will make your paths straight." (Proverbs 3:5) Yes baby girl, that's it!
I truly believe we were made for more than simple, safe lives. I pray that we will be people that live our lives as if eternity really exists and matters.
Chelsia
***Would you please pray for that women, her boyfriend, the Wal-Mart worker and every single precious soul that will be touched by that experience. Pray that God would show his glorious love and grace to many lives. Pray that hurting, hard hearts would believe in the God who loves them and sees them. That those who feel forgotten would feel held by the Savior of the world. Pray that the ripple effect would continue through this small act. Pray that they would hear about our great, loving God who is jealous for them and desires to have relationship with them.***
Oh my word, my sweet friend. The tears! This is beauty. This struggle is real. This faith in action is stretching. Thank you for sharing. I am praying right now if my desire to give beyond what makes sense is my love of a friend or God's direction. Thank you for sharing.
ReplyDeleteI am so grateful you were encouraged through these words. Praying for you to know his will!
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