Why "move with him"? The story behind the blog...

I basically started this blog with my first post confessing that I didn't know what I was going to write about, why this blog existed or why you should read what I write. Not exactly enticing, eh? I doubt that will make the list of the top ten ways to start a thriving blog or attract readers or get your 'name' out there. If it does, run hard and fast from that advice and do NOT pay someone to tell you that. Unless you don't care if anyone reads your blog. Then by all means feel free to adopt my method of no direction and scary unclearness and flighty blog beginnings. After all, confusing can be cool, I think?

I honestly didn't know until this morning why I named my blog 'move with him'. I confess, once again, my lack of clear direction. It just hit me today-God let me see a little more of His plan unfolding.

A few months ago I was driving home from a coffee shop when God pretty much shook my whole heart and said, "start a blog". My response?... "Ugh, why are you still putting this on my heart. God you don't understand. I don't have time or talent for that. When in the world would I be able to write and what in the world would I write about that people actually want to read? Seriously God. You don't even know who you are talking to." In hind-sight I realize how incredibly ridiculous it is to say those things to the God who made me, knows me intimately and sees me-including every thought. But my insecurities no nothing of being rational so I completely, immaturely told God He doesn't even know. It's nothing short of a miracle that He continues to pursue me and love me despite my rebellious, ridiculous antics. I guess that's why He is God and I am not.

So my conversation with Him continued..."Fine. What would I name this so-called blog?"... "I AM"... "I AM?" I didn't hear an audible voice, it's more a speaking straight to my spirit kind of voice. One that cannot be mistaken. He told me over and over and over on my car drive home, "I AM". I didn't get it but I liked it. I went home and did a search online to see if I could buy the domain name I am. Nope. It was taken. So now I was back to square one-frustrated, tired and confused. I opened a word doc and decide to start typing to see if my thoughts made any sense. I typed like a mad woman for like 2 minutes and didn't stop to read any of it until I got to the end. I felt like my fingers had been taken over and I typed faster and harder then I ever had. I swear God high jacked my hands. Here is what I wrote (No editing done)...

"I.AM
 
Imagine A Movement explodes where we, society, are FOR GOD. Where questions are answered, where passion for God is unbridled. Where He is held high in the place He belongs-the place He exists. And all the while we are exposed to one another. We are honest about our journey. We create community in which we search out the Bible and wrestle through our questions by solely depending on Christ-together.

SO, what does that look like? What does that mean? Well, that’s what I’m about. I am messy. Roughly forging ahead in Faith. Being fine-tuned by the Creator of this massive, intriguing universe. This blog exists to give you access to my life. To allow you to see what living out faith REALLY looks like. Not perfect. Not seamless. But REAL. Authentic. Raw. THAT, my beloved readers, is who I am. I love to write. I love God. I love encouragement. SO, here I am.

I am for YOU. I am FOR GOD. I AM FOR “I AM”. "

Do you see it? I AM. Imagine A Movement. I cannot even describe to you how overtaken I was after I had written that little blurb and looked back to read it. I don't even fully know what it means but what I do know is that God is working. He called me to this blog and He will do what HE wants with it. He will work through me using words and sharing real life with you. I can't promise pretty. In fact, I can pretty much guarantee a lot of miss congeniality moments of tripping on my heals and falling flat on my butt but that's what real life, real community, is all about.

 

I believe this blog will be a space for you to feel safe to be transparent with who you are and real with where you are at. Through me typing God-inspired words I believe He will speak to you.

So why move with Him? I think it's because I've spent most of my life moving against Him.

He says, "Go". I say, "But what will people think?"

He says, "Rest." I say, "But I want to run hard and fast."

He says, "Believe I love you and live in my grace for you." I say, "But I'm not worthy."

I'm starting to understand a little more what moving with God looks like.

He says, "Go!" I say, "I'm scared to death-please hold my hand and I'll go where you lead".

He says, "Rest." I say, "I'm going to choose to rest in you even though I don't know how. You carve the most beautiful things out of seasons of rest and stillness-I trust you."

He says, "Believe I love you and live in my grace for you." I say, "I'm too critical, change my heart and help me see myself and your people the way you do. Thank you for the cross. I'm clinging to it daily."

Whether in silence or big dream chasing He is asking us to move with Him. To bend and flex and trust that He will lead our steps. Just as any dancer knows, we are to relax and not over think our steps. Instead we are to train hard then trust our movement when we are on stage and if we fall on our butts we get up and keep moving. God is a God of movement. Even in the stillness, even in seasons of waiting and silence He is still moving.

Praying I don't fall on my butt too hard, too often. But when I do, I'll be honest about it. Because on the backside of that will be the God of all creation catching me and wiping the dirt off my clothes.

Chels