Aiming to be cautious and thoughtful with my words while keeping the integrity of honesty and straight-forward talk, is something I work at daily. I pray consistently through my day asking the Lord to make the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart pleasing to him (Psalm 19:14). This isn't a fool-proof way to stop wayward opinions and jagged thoughts, obviously, but the more I remind myself of the power of our words, the more gracious and careful I am. However, this conversation left me feeling like someone had high jacked my mouth as I heard the words coming out that I had not yet processed in my mind.
It was awkwardly painful. The kind of pain that leaves you thinking how much better it would feel if you could jump the plane and land on the hard, solid dark brown land mass below you. It was rough.
Stalling in the bathroom for the better part of 10 minutes I felt both the peace of God come over me and the urge to humble myself and ask this poor victim of my careless words for forgiveness. So I squeezed my humble person out of the small aircraft bathroom and walked to the front of the plane to take my seat next to him. Instead of starting into it right away I waited a few minutes. I prayed, I prayed and I prayed some more. Then I started shaking and my gut nearly convinced me to grab a barf bag and dispose of the nerves that were swirling in my stomach. That sick feeling was my queue that it was time. I turned to him and gently interrupted his book and launched into an apology.
He leaned in, his face softened and he opened back up.
Just as quickly as he had shut me out, he opened the conversation back up and we didn't just talk about the weather. We talked how hard but rewarding marriage is, how raising kids changes us and we talked about God. He confessed that he isn't a Christian but before the plane landed he had already determined that he wanted to learn more about God and understand the faith of a relationship with Jesus. I don't write this to encourage you to let your mouth run off hoping it works out and people come to know Jesus through the brash things you say. Lord ,have mercy. I'm sharing it because God revealed a few important lessons through this act of careless words.
1. Our words have infinite influence. They hold an incredible amount of power. Choosing life-giving words can literally change someone's life or it can tear them down and leave them in a broken pile of ruble. (James 3:3-8)
2. What we say is simply an overflow of our heart. I've said it many times before because it is crucial that we understand this. If I am not filling myself with the truth of God then I have nothing uplifting to offer you. I can only give what I have. If I am consumed with my own thoughts and feelings and ideas then that's what you will hear. Likewise, if I fill my mind with truth that is wise and discerning, that is what you'll hear. (Luke 6:24, Matthew 12:34)
3. The Lord redeems. On that stuffy airplane I stuffed that mans mind with a brash comment that did not do justice to the grace and love God wants us to extend to people. I could have chosen silence and parted ways with this man forever but instead the Holy Spirit gave me an opportunity to allow God to work through it. I trusted that prompting and it lead to a redeeming conversation that pointed him back to searching out our Heavenly Father-that kind of redemption can change a life. I don't always do that though. Too often I choose selfishness and sacrifice holiness.
4. When we leave room for God to work, He does show-stopping things that will blow our mind. This past weekend I saw Lysa Terkeurst share a message from her new book, The Best Yes. I saw it live and I don't think I'll ever forget it. She urged us to choose a life that offers our time as a sacrifice. Her tag line was "Unrush me Lord." To give you a brief overview I'd sum it up this way...we get so busy with our to-do lists and agendas that we don't slow down and allow room for God to work in the "now" moment. When we intentionally allow space in our schedule, whether it's less commitments on our calendars or simply recognizing an opportunity to minister to the person we're sitting next to on an airplane, we open the door for God to do mighty things. I long to live this way.
5. Asking for forgiveness is a way of life. I spend quite a few moments in my day asking for forgiveness from my husband and children. It's something I am passionate about. I believe we need to display a life of humility in order to display the life of the humble Jesus we aim to mirror. Staring into the eyes of a complete stranger and confessing my sin was not something I imagined doing when I woke up that morning. However, it was necessary. Pride will steal so much from us and it's just not worth it. It will taint others view of God and while He doesn't need our help to make his glory known, He wants it. Its our job to display humility because that relays love and God.is.love.
The blazing golden sun was beating heavily on my back forming beads of salty sweat. I was bent over determined to finish the work of weeding in the garden before the mid summer temperature began to soar. I first began forcefully removing every weed that covered the ground in the wide rows between plants. The beauty of using a sharp hoe is that it pulverizes those weeds with relatively little effort on my part. Once the work was finished in those wide rows I lowered my body down to the ground being careful to position myself in a way that would allow me to weed between each small plant without having to move often. From a standing position the garden looked clear of weeds but in taking a closer look now, I could see that in between each small plant, tucked underneath their spreading vines, they were swarming with weeds threatening to steal all the life-giving water and nutrients from the vegetable plants. It took significantly longer for me to accomplish the task of weeding in the small spaces. Pulling weed after weed I began to see how much this looks like my heart. From the surface I can appear polished and "put-together" but if I am not allowing God to do the work between the deep spaces, that which is hidden, then I am infested with life-stealing, death invoking weeds. 
I'm brimming with thankfulness today that the Lord is the one who prunes us. If we choose to allow Him room to work in us, it is then that He can work though us. He can redeem that which we have put a scarlet stamp on and He works mightily through us as He teaches us how to be filled with life-giving truth, removing the weeds that threaten to plant darkness in our souls.
"I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful." John 15:1-2
